Manual Transmissions

Dear Milbarge,

I am one of those 'guys' who refuses to buy a car with an automatic transmission. There are multiple reasons. Cars with MTs are generally cheaper as you note. When you downshift, you force the engine to decelerate; this saves wear and tear on brakes. My new Acura TL has a short-throw shifter standard on the car, which decreases the ratio between gear shifts significantly. This has multiple effects: one, it makes a bad@ss 'snick' noise every time you shift--highly satisfying. Two, it enables you to shift gears much quicker than in an automatic car, and faster than a MT car with no short-throw. Three, it makes it feel like you are driving a race car (even if you are no speed demon, which I am not, the feeling is awesome).

But the biggest reason is that it actually feels like I am the one doing the driving, instead of passively sitting back and letting the car dictate all the gears, etc. The gears shift when I tell them to.

Example: Ms. TP drives only automatic cars, and could not understand why her heavy car struggled so mightily to go up the lone hill we have in Houston. If you drive a manual, you understand you have to put the car in a lower gear to increase the torque. Now, of course, you can do this in an automatic car, too, but my point is that driving a manual forces you to understand a bit more about the actual process of driving, rather than simply being driven (letting the engine dictate the gears, torque, etc. of the car).

To be clear, I'm not one of those who thinks MT is absolutely necessary, or that you are a girly man if you don't drive MT (although, of course, Milbarge, you are in fact a girly man for wholly independent reasons). There are all sorts of good reasons to drive a car with an AT, as Ms. TP explained to me just last night, and she is right, of course. Different strokes for different folks.

But I find that driving a MT really makes me feel like I am actually doing the driving; it's an active process that way, and I will never, ever drive an AT car as my main automobile.

Therefore, I say to you what Col. Rhombus said to your eponymous heroes 20 years ago:

Col. Rhombus: Listen, it's my job to get you prepared to go out into the field for combat. Now, I must know right away what I have to work with. I have made my decision.

Emmett Fitz-Hume: What's it say?

Austin Millbarge: "*ssy."

Comments

[Fitz-Hume]

That's gold, Jerry, gold! :)

I get the impression that my co-blogger prefers his driving experience to mirror the "rapid vertical impact maneuver" - you will not be required to exert yourself in this exercise.

[Milton]

Fitz,

Best Banya line ever. Second best, of course, is "Kramer, your nancy-boy cream leaked all over the pants, the suit is ruined!" LOL.

Agreed as to the rapid vertical impact maneuver. The feeling of driving a MT is somewhat akin to having the paint sucked off your house, giving you a permanent orange afro.

I've always wanted an orange afro, even a temporary one.

[Milbarge]

I believe it was the passive heat response thingy which required no exertion on the part of the original F-H & M. I agree with you to some extent, although I wouldn't characterize my driving as "passive." Probably too many people don't take enough control over what they're doing behind the wheel, and assume that "four-wheel drive" equals "no risk of accident." I don't have time to get into this as deeply as I could, but for me a car is simply a tool. I don't debate whether a Philips or flathead is "more of a screwdriver," which would require some discussion of what the basic nature of a screwdriver, and screws, and driving screws, is. I don't feel like I'm "more of a commuter" because I walk to work and get to chart my own course down the one-way streets. My legs are simply the tool I use to get to work. I know these aren't the best analogies, but my point is that my car isn't an extension of me or my penis. You feel like driving a stick means you are actually doing the driving. My point isn't that I think driving an automatic is "actually driving" (which would, again, require a debate on the meaning of driving). My point is I don't care if I'm not driving or if the car is doing some of the operation for me that I could otherwise do. "Actually driving" doesn't mean that much to me.

[Adrianne Truett]

Where'd you find a hill in Houston?

[Milton]

Milbarge,

Understood. For you, definitely, an AT makes more sense.

Adrienne,

We've got one somewhere, I'm certain of it.

[Fitz-Hume]

Are you sure that this "hill" isn't really just an access ramp or a highway overpass?

[Owen Courreges]

I think Houston once had a hill, but frenzied townspeople with pitchforks and torches tore it down.